eLeNA

happy...almost happy

2008-11-21T21:23:00.006+02:00

It's been a while...again. I've made a habit out of this, but i'm here now.

I'm almost happy again. I know what i want and i know how to get it. I've established my goals for the year to come ...and slowly I'm starting to dream again. I'm afraid to say what i want out loud, 'cause i'm scared i'll jinx it. I do not want to be pessimistic, but so far i got my fair share of disappointments. All considered i finally getting on the right path. My confidence is getting stronger and stronger by the day. My scheduel is terrible , but all the excitment of goals i want to reach makes it all seem pleasant.

I'm glad that i still manage to get together with the people close to me. I have the impression that together we can rule the world.It's strange, but if we put our evil little heads together god know's what will get out of it :P.
next time: all of the people who's birthdays we've missed during my "blog absence".

puppy was back in town ...

2008-07-20T12:10:00.004+03:00

Guess who's back .... The past week was great ...two of my dearest friends came back to Romania.

Alina aka nebunici came back for good...or so she says. She was for 9 months in a traineeship in the Czech Republic ...

Ronald aka puppy...came back just to visit us. Anyway bothof them came back at the same time and you can't even begin to imagine the joy that came over me ... an incredible week passed by so fast and ronald had to go back home...as for alina she's here to stay and we'll make the most of her time in Romania :)

until the next time

;)

Fuck offf!!!

2008-07-09T01:32:00.003+03:00

Today , after a bit more than 7 months i feel like i'm gonna explode if i do not put this post on....

This is a special dedication to a kind of people that do no know limits and do not mind stepping with their dirty feet into others lives ... with the excuse that they're funny... FUNNY???... why should only one person decide what's funny or not? I may be too stupid to understand the logic of it....but i came to a conclusion tonight and I want to make a suggestion to everyone who thinks they are funny ...Be funny on your own! You want to know and people to appreciate you ....make them acknoledge you for YOUR own experience and merits ....not by trashing the reputation of the ones next to you...

I think i'm getting older...and I'd like to think wiser. Everyday i realise more and more about how sick and twisted the world is ...and i just run as far away as i can from this "perfect" world... I'm tired of smart-pants and "funny" people and people so full of themselves that it makes me sick to my stomac...

I'm ending this post with a quote from a really smart book about human relations : "The one that is without sin, through the first stone." The smart entity that said this was Jesus...and although I am not a true practicant of my faith, I believe that this is one of the most important lesson we should learn. We are the sum of the people we meet and the experiences we live...so we should all be kinder to the ones next to us...
...

coming back soon with happy thoughts
;)

hopefull
elena

happy new year....

2008-01-02T12:04:00.000+02:00

hey there....and happy new year...

I'm starting a new episode in my life....I'm not running away anymore...I'm facing my fears and my failures....and i'm coming through....

Every year I made tones of new year's eve resolutions... about what i wanna be , have, become... Not anymore! ...I only wish that 2008 will be the greatest year of my life...2006 was awesome, 2007 revealing....2008 will be the year I collect my rewards...;)

I entered this year having a blast...the best time in 2007...but just nothing in comparison with what I want 2008 to be...I did get my hopes up already, but this time I will not be disappointed , cause I am the only one in charge of what will or won't happen...As someone really wise said...it is high time I focused on what i really want....so no matter how hard it will be I will enjoy the rocky road, cause it will take me to my goals ... Wish for the moon and enjoy the stars on the way there ;)

Happy new year to everyone!!

Happy New Year....Happy birthday Hielko;)

2007-12-30T09:21:00.000+02:00

First of all...Happy birthday Hielko, cause tomorrow will first be your birthday and than the New year.....

You are the most serious person i got to know this year...and in the same time the most surprising...A very good listener, good adviser, quite smart....and fun and the sitution required it... Thank you...for understanding me in the hard times...and for being the lead star in a couple of the best moments of this year:"the pie", the lion, the opening of the Practiker store...

I'm hope to have your trust for the years to come...I'll earn it again if i have you...you know why:P.

kind regards :P

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

never good enough

2007-12-23T01:20:00.000+02:00

...Christmas is closer and closer with every second that passes...and instead of feeling pleased and happy...I feel sader by the minute....The time to draw the line has come...another year has passed with its happy moments, but most of all with the disappointments that have so marked my soul.... and "thank God" there we quite a few....bottom line i am not good enough to be the head-line of life but in the same time not enough devasted/troubled to be worthy of attention...I am nobody....

Dear Santa..... make me somebody, cause no matter what i do i am never good enough ....

If you are going through hell... keep going

2007-12-16T13:43:00.000+02:00

There a saying about a light waiting at the end of the tunel ...ithink it is true. No matter how shiety the situation can get you have to find the power to get up and continue your road or you will get yourself more more trapped in the never-ending road of pain....If you do not keep on going "hell" is going to seem even worse to take and you will turn everything else around in hell also ...

find that thing that will take you at the end of the tunel and at the end of the hell you are leaving...cause it is turning my life in a living hell.....

happy birthday to a dutch "bastard"

2007-12-09T11:12:00.000+02:00

this is messege is a way of wishing happy birthday to the person that this year had an important role in my life...the "dark " knight, the dutch bastard....names aside : he has been the person that showed me that you can enjoy ever second of your life and look forward for the upcoming day.

you were all a smile...an entertainer...on your birthday(you're finally 21:P) i wish you to never loose this side of yourself...It inspire me and i'm sure that it will give an example to way more people. ;)

kus
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

PS: don't drink to much....you have to enjoy this day :P

it's all up to me

2007-12-04T21:34:00.000+02:00

NPS- National Preparation Seminar.....Amara...Lebada Hotel....2007...organized by our local committe....what did i get out of it?

many things....many feelings...loads of learnings...so lay back cause you are in for quite a lecture...

I love my EB team...
After an incredibly challenging year we managed to pull everything back together and have the best conference of our lives...not in what the content in concerned, but in the moments spent together , the feelings , the emotions...Thank you guys for an awesome experience.

I still have the power to fight
The sessions that i attended gave new meanings to all of the things that i thought i already knew... At the begining i thought i will just be a waste of my time and i more than surprised to realise that i am not as great as i had the impression and that i still have many more things to learn and that it is all up to me to achieve what i want.
Become what you think.
I know the theory for quite some time now, i just never believe it up to this moment.It's all about positive thinking and visualization of the things that we want and thay will come to us. To have the complete key to success and stay true ourselves we must also follow the pattern :
To be - To do - To have. Most people do it the other way around and this is why they and up failing or loosing their our personlity and the road to succes. just joking >:)

There is no bad communication, just feedback.
55% of the things we transmit are by the way we say it and we adapt the messege to the receiver. In order not to fail in your communication you have to adapt to the person next to you. Be empathic!

Design is everything!
Design helps us transmitt a imagine in the woerld. People are fed up with stereotypes and fakes, that is why we are responsible of making our design apealling to the others. There is no place for neutrality , you just have the courage to define yourself...if you don't someone else will.
Steve Jobs said: "You know a design is good when you want to lick it!"
Every battle has its price.Pick up your teeth and go home!

Live for something, rather that die for nothing!
This two quotes speak for themselves and there is no need to explain them anymore, just say are the 2 things that are currently guiding my steps and it's a good thing i found them.

.:: free at last ::.

2007-11-26T23:29:00.000+02:00

I now have an answer to all the questions that troubled me lately....I had them all along, i just refused to open eyes. I do not like them all ...but that is that!I will just have to struggle more next time and pray for the best....

It seems that all the things that i desire most do not come through for me in the end...it is disapointing...but i think that all things happen for a reason. I wasn't good enough to fullfill my current dreams... better times are ahead...it's time to look back and recue all that deserves to be rescued and move on to better older horizons...

I had a dream...and this past year i fed myself up with it, until i felt the need to turn toward something else( did that , and unluckily for me it crushed and burned-nebunici aici poti sa faci faza cu avionul:P) .... now i come back to my dream...and this time i will make it come true.

Part of this dream is having my friends close and if that means going to an unknown place I'd do it...cause only YOU have the power to take my mind away from troubles and worries, only YOU know what makes my day and how i like to have fun, only YOU allow me to go crazy and acompany me in this burst of energy......only YOU the people i call my best friends.

I now have a plan for the year to come and you are all included...I'm aiming high !But no matter how long it will take me I'm doing it because this is what i trully want and you deserve !

pentru un nebunici ceh

2007-11-24T09:06:00.000+02:00

This will be the only time i post in romanian!

Nebunici si mi-e imi e dor de tine....si abia astept sa te intorci sa ne pierdem serile facand tot felul de glume pe care numai noi sa le intelegem...sa probam "cizme" noi( si au aparut niste modele foarte interesante in ultima vreme:P)....

Zambesc pentru tine..rad pentru tine...scriu pentru tine...as face orice pentru tine.....doar trebuie sa imi respect statul de nebunici blond(chiar dak acum sunt sub acoperire)!

Nu stiu ce m-as face fara tine....Am trecut noi peste perioada Italia ...o sa trecem noi si de perioada Cehia si alte cate vor mai veni...chiar si la distanta asta in momentele importane ai fost acolo pentru mine asa k nu pot decat sa iti multumesc k esti prietena mea si sa incerc sa fiu si eu prietena pe care o meriti....;;)

luv ya girl

>:D<

beijos...pentru prietenul meu ;)

2007-11-22T20:52:00.000+02:00

cause friendship and feeling can go beyond time, distance ..different paths in life...

cause once you meet someone and get to really know each other...that person can remain in your heart no matter what and no other person could ever ripp its place away...YOU will always be my dear friend!

Mi-e dor de tine, bebe!

( I know you know u know romanian, but i learned a bit portugesse also ...so here it goes: Sinto tua falta!)

kisses for you and anita

"Ilena/mama/rapariga"

heart vs reason

2007-11-18T21:47:00.000+02:00

pissed off....frustrated...unsure...vulnerable

Time to let go!!!

It's time for me to let go all the things that are not bringing into my life the joy an happiness i want and search for...I thought i had i almost found it and i just needed to be patient...well...i"m through waiting and fighting and searching and acting...from now on i'll wait for the results of my actions....and i'll one by one let things go...

Once again i'll say it ...i was doing so well before all of this...I have to admitt that it is all my fault...all that happens it is a result of my actions and my choices...This was the last time i acted to help others and ended up hurting myself ...from now on i will have to consider my own good first...and than that of other entities.(I hope this time I'll manage to keep this promise to myself.)

No matter what i did , or did not do...it seems that i am never good enough and will never be. I once told a friend that all that i desire and wish for never comes true...there were two things i wanted...one did came true after tones of work...but the other regardless of the amount of work put in it ...it did not move an inch and hell know when it will...I no longer wanna care...i wanna stop and i have the power to do it...by heart still wants it...

heart vs reason.....there no winners so far ...hopefully i will be the final winner.....but when?

cross roads..end of LTS

2007-11-14T14:33:00.000+02:00

...I never thought i conference can stirr up so many feelings inside me...but it did. It was the last conference that us as a board team prepared....there were so many mixed feelings...happiness (for the new members recruited)...sadness (for the upcoming end)...maturity(it is something that i got from all the conferences that we organized)....satisfaction at the end of the day when all the sessions were over.....disappointment when certain people did attend our sessions or when other people failed in acomplishing their tasks....nostalgy when i thought of the things waiting for me home.....At the end of the day( conference)...I can honesty say it was the most exhausting conference ever but also the most rewarding.

...Where do I wanna go from here?.....I honestly do not know yet ...I am cosindering 3 possibilities and one of them involves international land.... my time for reflexion is quite up....and i need to make a decission fast....and i will ...

shooting everything in sight

2007-10-28T18:48:00.000+02:00

yesterday was a rather full day.....paintballl and a special party for a little baby......

let's start with the fun part....PAINTBALL!!

It was incredibile...to be in forest ...free to do whatever a in the same time , being sure that nothing bad can happen to you or the others......scaring at the begining but once we got the hang of it ..everything was way easier and we were enjoying ourselves....

For the other big part of the day....that was a bit frustrating.... realized that i do not fit in everywhere...I am too mature for the kids and way too young and stubborned for the old ones... I hate the old mentality that, just because we are younger than they are e are not able to do things right....anyway....All in al it was a pretty ok night...i was there for my friend and helped him and that makes me pretty darn proud.

amazed

2007-10-26T21:07:00.000+03:00

Lately ...this has been the only song tht comes close to my state of spirit... i'm just amazed..
read it...listen to it...and you will get to know me a bit better ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1NOdrat3XY

"Amazed"-by Duncan James

Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch everyplace in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time everytime
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

the change....

2007-10-23T22:31:00.000+03:00

well ....finally i had the courage to make a change .....hope that it will be tha change that i was looking for all alomg and will help me get the determination i need...for those of you who like it it's ok....for those of you who don't...well though luck :D

escape...

2007-10-21T15:04:00.000+03:00

We are having the selection interviews now and to my disappointment not all of the persons that subscribed attended....:....So we had to find other ways of spending the time in between ...and this is how everything went.......It was actually fun and i could afford to escape the "safe mode" and go crazy without having to worry about what others think....It was really nice to be independent and although tiring it took my mind of the person i missed so much ;)...what did i do?...hmmm: played volayball with the baloons, faught with my interiew colegue( over baloons, over his phone...over pretty much everything, but we laughed a lot)...we blew up ballons until the guardian came and checked it out ;))....that was bizar....we escaped for the train-staion to welcome my girls.....well...that was nice...when do we do i again :D:D:D

my babies....Happy birthday!

2007-10-16T09:29:00.000+03:00

KLIN

IONELA

ANDRA

ROMANIA WON!!

2007-10-14T02:50:00.000+03:00

Dreaming the Netherlands will win against Romania...........NOT( it's still fun:P)

Well not to bragg but Romania just won today against the Netherlands ....and our dream came through....You will never win....Romania watch out!...well ,my darlings you were the ones gettin beaten tonight and for the first time ever i came say : I TOLD YOU SO!!!..

Dear "knight in shining armour"it is your turn to keep your end of the bargain ....i kept mine even thought i wasn't supposed to :P....Looking forward to reading the mails , ha ha ha ....

....there is always next time.....just pray that i do not make a bet again....cause if it happens Netherlands will get their buts kicked all over again.

2007-10-09T21:35:00.000+03:00

....just promotting my lungs out to convince members to subscribe to info-desks..."Hungry for people"...that was a pretty funny way of promotting this project to our own members:D...We all had the recruitment sign and the number of new member we want to recruit written on us ....and believe it or not they were actually curious and interested :)..It was one of the best weekly meeting we had with our members ....

....kisses...

..a hopefull Vp PD

PS: wish us luck...we a have a big presentation tomorrow and we really need it to go well..:)

...a smile

2007-10-02T23:01:00.000+03:00

someone ask me last night: how come i always have a smile on my face?

Hard question to answer....I said that my friends are the reason....well they are also the ones that take it away...and today i could not smile anymore. Someone that i considered a friend disappointed me ...

This is a lesson that i now by heart now and yet i do not seize to forget it all time...I always put in too much..too soon and in the end i am the only one hurt.I'm just like a plane(as nebunici says)...I lift off confident that i will make the final destination...and when i'm most confident i fall...I never stop hoping, but how long will this last...? I eventually crash and burn.....and wake up to a new day a little less confident...sick and tired of being wrong again....but willing to put back the pieces...

Today i was lucky...I only lost a couple of hours of enjoying my life.....last time it took me 6 months and an intense treatment with optimism and good will from a couple of "dutch bastards" that i'll always love an cherish ....just for reminding me of ME...

"It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers." -Persian Proverb

this ship has sank

2007-09-30T23:30:00.000+03:00

.....

It's been month now since my father passed away.He always loved the water and sailing it from one end to the other...The Danube was his shelter and dear friends throughout his life...He like his freedom...Now he is more free than he ever thought possible....he is free sail the danube with his spirit ....to watch over us and know ho much we still love him...and even though i never told him this i loved him.Time passes so fast...and no matter what we have to learn to run faster and catch up...no matter how much it hurts....

LA MULTI ANI Alina.....;)

2007-09-27T07:58:00.000+03:00

Happy birthday dear friend,

Every since the first year of hi-school she was my friend and she is the only friend i ever had that stayed loyal , even when i didn't have enought time for her...She is the only real connection i still have with the world before AIESEC. I love her for being there for me always and on this day, 27 of september-her birthday i will like to be there for her ...through all the means i can and wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again ...

;)

Desire

2007-09-26T11:06:00.000+03:00

this message will be a bit different....You have a thing that you really like and it makes you feel on cloud nine...you wanna have it 24/7.....the rush of waiting for it...the preparations....the andrenaline running through your veines..... The smile it puts on your face, no matter how sad you are....the shivers going up your back....All this for just want one thing....

Why can't I just stop feeling so intensely every second of it? How can you temperate a desire for something that you didn't ask for...It just found you!

"Life has a funny way of sneaking upon you"

(Alanis Morriset- Ironic)

harvest day:new and improved bro' :P

2007-09-25T23:29:00.000+03:00

Harvest Festival...This year was a bit special...thus i celebrated it twice ...Once with Gabi and my Bro' and the second day with my mummy , doing our thing: Shopping ..ooops...we did it again!

Why this title?Well ( you did not hear this from me) my brother is a rather cool guy, and although imature and a conviced rocker....he can still put his act together and make and impression and not to bragg, but for the first time in a very long time : I'M PROUD OF HIM !;)

He's actually cute in these photos:)

the flowers just simply love us ...uh la laaaa!

...coming back ....

2007-09-23T09:35:00.000+03:00

" A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you whenu have forgotten the words"

....It's all the same, everyone when leaves says/promises that they will come back, so far i only seen it twice ....last year with maarten and pieter and this year with half of the french gang(Kat, Tony et Nicolas)... They came back! I can only admire them for being able to keep their promises and also for building such a strong friendship during the past year...

Gros bisoux

spain....

2007-09-21T15:26:00.000+03:00

well hello,

Why spain...there 4 persons dear to me here: Alina (aka Nebunici), Nico& Ionela(my sweet pidicei) and Burc (aka Burcita). They are there on different matter, but the truth i miss them all a lot. :)

I might also be a bit gelouse on the weather there...while here i am freezing to death, they are going to the beach( poor them:P) or drinking free tequila in the clubs(I'll remember you girls by :P)....All in all having a great time there . Hoping that i can be with them at least spiritualy....

I send them tones of kisses and a big hug (nebunici/pidicica style ;) - prietenii stiu de ce )

restless night

2007-09-20T08:47:00.000+03:00

Today starts a conference called Rock Me or AutCO. The really "good" thing is that it is nearby Resita, which makes it very hard for us (@people in galati) to get to this conference considering the distance...My friends decided to go hitch-hiking and for the first time i was not on the road also ...I was at home...I was on the other side, the side of the persons that stayed behind and worried...Running out of gas , not finding cars, dakness, changing rutes all the time...this were problems encountered by them. Now i'm going to bed, two teams are already in resita, the last one is in Caransebes...hopefully all will be fine and they will have the greatest time at the conference( for me also).

;)

the vote of confidence ;)

2007-09-19T17:26:00.000+03:00

The first step to bigger responsabilities... this is how it all began...AIESEC...human resources and soon after a job...i thought i was on top of the world...

Why i bring it up now, is because for the first time in a very long time i FEEL like that again.

;)

( this picture was taken 50m away from my home, a place where i feel safe and it represents the vote of confidence that the AIESEC people had given to me earlier that day)

september birthday girls :)

2007-09-18T20:56:00.001+03:00

<=Oana

"Don't walk in front of me, i may not follow,

Don't walk behind me, i may not lead,

Walk beside me and be my friend."

(Albert Camus)

Cristina=>

color...feelings...freedom

2007-09-18T20:56:00.000+03:00

Happy birthday Simon

2007-08-31T18:51:00.000+03:00

Ladies and gents

Today is the birthday of a very special caracter in my life ..one that i consider a very good friend and that is ..... the 'evil' : SIMON!

I am very proud to announce that he is turning 21 today ;) and that makes him younger than me ...merde!

bite :P

Welcome to my blog

2007-08-30T11:57:00.000+03:00

hey all,

From this moment on i shall make his the testimony of all my experiences....and from now and then i shall take you a bit in time and show you all who my friends are...

until the next post ..

enjoy this :)